April 24, 2013
help, layout, Poem, poetry, troubleshooting, Word, Wordpress
Hello there. You may have heard my cry for help. Thank you for coming. I am trying to post a poem on here on WordPress. I am trying to copy over the original poem from a Word document, but is completely destroying the layout of the poem. I also find re-writing is not working for me, Can you comment if you can help me. I will be very happy and I will probably write a poem about you.
Hoping you can assist me, Brenton AKA bigblue45
April 23, 2013
blog, funny, Humor, life, misheard words, sorry, technolgically illiterate, technology
Sorry readers, but because the author of this blog was a smidgy bit busy and also is a bit of a technological illiterate, a post will not appear today that is any use to you. Well, excluding this one. I’ll tell you an amusing thought to make up for it. When I told my Dad I had a blog, he thought I said ‘blob’. For next few days after that, he would point things out to me and say things like: “See that cute dog over their with the shaggy face? I’m going to write a blob about it.”.
Yeah, why correct him when it is hilariously funny?
By Brenton AKA bigblue45
April 16, 2013
advertisment, Daily Prompt, Daily Prompt: History of Language, fiction, funny, Humor, Passat, Star Wars, third time's the charm, Volkswagen
“Write a piece of fiction describing the incident that gave rise to the phrase, “third time’s the charm.””
Once upon a time, long before Star Wars and YouTube and the 2012 Volkswagen Passat, there was a small boy. He was a small boy who dreamed that one day he could be a Jedi knight like his father was. He tried so hard in his Jedi force exercises that he tended to strain his eyes (they had a tendency to bulge, kind of like a suffocating fish.). He was picked on by all the other little boys because he had inherited breathing difficulties from his father.
On a day that no one even bothered to write down, the young boy discovered his destiny. The were a group of little boys playing at the Jedi temple. They were trying to remove an old( from our perspective) 878 AD Volkswagen with the power of their minds. The boy (for no one even cared to remember his name) toddled over to the group of boys in the hope that they would play with him.
“Can…I…Play…?”, wheezed the boy (remember, he had a breathing difficulty). “No, only if you can lift this brand new car bucket head.”,jeered the ugly kid. He knew that the young boy with the breathing problem could not use the force.
“I will do it then!” cheered the asthmatic boy. He spread his legs into a power stance and thrust both his arms forward like a ninja zombie towards the car. He began to look for the force. He could feel his eye balls inflating.
“1…2…3…NOW!”. Nothing happened. All the boys, including the ugly one, were silent.
“1….2….3….NOOOOW!”. Nothing. The boys began to snigger. A small crowd gathered around to watch the comic spectacle. The older third year trainee-Jedi’s began to smoke some strong hallucinogenic drug. (They had LASER SWORDS. Who would be stupid enough to mess with them?). Asthmatic boy began to breath as deep as he could. He got a whiff of some of that space-weedy stuff. It was strong. Strong enough to elude asthmatic boy’s respirator! His eye’s rolled to the back of his head. In the dark haze of his mind, under the rocks and stones, by the skyscraper dandelion and above the fish with no eyes, there stood a wizard with a pink beard clad in orange…
Consciousness regained he trust his hands forward: “NNOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!!!”, he coughed. The car shook ever so slightly. The thought of failure was just about to cross his mind when the car exploded into a million pieces (that’s the actual number). The whole crowd gasped louder than asthmatic boy. They were amazed. Except for Ugly boy. He had a piece of glass the size of a dog stuck in his face. He was bleeding. A lot.
“How did you do that, little sickly dude”, asked the pimply third year kid.
“The wizard said third time’s the charm.”,…
That makes sense, because wizards use charms and stuff.
Not long after asthmatic boy became a Jedi and starred in a Volkswagen advertisement: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R55e-uHQna0
By Brenton AKA bigblue45.
PS. Post inspired by daily prompt and Volkswagen advertisement.
PPS. I do not own or represent Star Wars or Volkswagen.