April 24, 2013
Uncategorized help, layout, Poem, poetry, troubleshooting, Word, Wordpress 3 Comments
Hello there. You may have heard my cry for help. Thank you for coming. I am trying to post a poem on here on WordPress. I am trying to copy over the original poem from a Word document, but is completely destroying the layout of the poem. I also find re-writing is not working for me, Can you comment if you can help me. I will be very happy and I will probably write a poem about you.
Hoping you can assist me, Brenton AKA bigblue45
April 23, 2013
Uncategorized blog, funny, Humor, life, misheard words, sorry, technolgically illiterate, technology 2 Comments
Sorry readers, but because the author of this blog was a smidgy bit busy and also is a bit of a technological illiterate, a post will not appear today that is any use to you. Well, excluding this one. I’ll tell you an amusing thought to make up for it. When I told my Dad I had a blog, he thought I said ‘blob’. For next few days after that, he would point things out to me and say things like: “See that cute dog over their with the shaggy face? I’m going to write a blob about it.”.
Yeah, why correct him when it is hilariously funny?
By Brenton AKA bigblue45
April 16, 2013
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a
Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's when the fight started...
______________________________
April 16, 2013
Uncategorized advertisment, Daily Prompt, Daily Prompt: History of Language, fiction, funny, Humor, Passat, Star Wars, third time's the charm, Volkswagen Leave a comment
“Write a piece of fiction describing the incident that gave rise to the phrase, “third time’s the charm.””
Once upon a time, long before Star Wars and YouTube and the 2012 Volkswagen Passat, there was a small boy. He was a small boy who dreamed that one day he could be a Jedi knight like his father was. He tried so hard in his Jedi force exercises that he tended to strain his eyes (they had a tendency to bulge, kind of like a suffocating fish.). He was picked on by all the other little boys because he had inherited breathing difficulties from his father.
On a day that no one even bothered to write down, the young boy discovered his destiny. The were a group of little boys playing at the Jedi temple. They were trying to remove an old( from our perspective) 878 AD Volkswagen with the power of their minds. The boy (for no one even cared to remember his name) toddled over to the group of boys in the hope that they would play with him.
“Can…I…Play…?”, wheezed the boy (remember, he had a breathing difficulty). “No, only if you can lift this brand new car bucket head.”,jeered the ugly kid. He knew that the young boy with the breathing problem could not use the force.
“I will do it then!” cheered the asthmatic boy. He spread his legs into a power stance and thrust both his arms forward like a ninja zombie towards the car. He began to look for the force. He could feel his eye balls inflating.
“1…2…3…NOW!”. Nothing happened. All the boys, including the ugly one, were silent.
“1….2….3….NOOOOW!”. Nothing. The boys began to snigger. A small crowd gathered around to watch the comic spectacle. The older third year trainee-Jedi’s began to smoke some strong hallucinogenic drug. (They had LASER SWORDS. Who would be stupid enough to mess with them?). Asthmatic boy began to breath as deep as he could. He got a whiff of some of that space-weedy stuff. It was strong. Strong enough to elude asthmatic boy’s respirator! His eye’s rolled to the back of his head. In the dark haze of his mind, under the rocks and stones, by the skyscraper dandelion and above the fish with no eyes, there stood a wizard with a pink beard clad in orange…
Consciousness regained he trust his hands forward: “NNOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!!!”, he coughed. The car shook ever so slightly. The thought of failure was just about to cross his mind when the car exploded into a million pieces (that’s the actual number). The whole crowd gasped louder than asthmatic boy. They were amazed. Except for Ugly boy. He had a piece of glass the size of a dog stuck in his face. He was bleeding. A lot.
“How did you do that, little sickly dude”, asked the pimply third year kid.
“The wizard said third time’s the charm.”,…
That makes sense, because wizards use charms and stuff.
Not long after asthmatic boy became a Jedi and starred in a Volkswagen advertisement: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R55e-uHQna0
THE END.
By Brenton AKA bigblue45.
PS. Post inspired by daily prompt and Volkswagen advertisement.
PPS. I do not own or represent Star Wars or Volkswagen.
April 13, 2013
Every day, new challenges are added on moolta by daredevils looking to raise money for their favorite causes. While we hope for the best for every single one, every now and then a challenge fails to be completed. Obviously we want every challenge to succeed, but on occasion, a hilarious fail is born providing laughs to all of those who see it.
April 10, 2013
Uncategorized bullying, Facebook, Humor, internet, media, opinion, Social Media, tbh, to be honest, trolling Qoohme, trolls 2 Comments
I use Facebook. Like a lot of people on this planet (Sorry, not in a statistic-y mood). This I understand, as people find it useful. What I don’t get is why people on Facebook will participate in thh (Too be honest) statuses. Pretty much, for people who don’t have their face buried in a book or like talking to a wall, it is a status that generally reads: ‘Like for a tbh 
’. (If you don’t know what a like is, I can’t help you.) You like and will receive your tbh in a length of time relative to how much touching up you have done on your profile picture. (That’s a joke old person).
If you do receive a reply (Sometimes you are ignored because the person despises you.) it will go along the lines off…
“tbh… you are like my rock, my stars, my one true love.”
Or
“tbh… I hate you and your ugly face so much. Just #$%^ off… but I feel we can talk out our differences and move on…”
This is the tbh. In my view, it is putting yourself in a positioned to be judged and rated. How would you even know if they are being truthful over the blinding white neutrality of Facebook? You are asking for an opinion of who you are as a person. These people are meant to be your Facebook friends. You would hope these people had a pretty high opinion of you any way. (If you’re a personal friend of mine and you are reading this, you are exempt from my expectations of a ‘friend’. Please continue treating me like crap in a respectful manner.).
What irks me a little bit more is Qoohme. Pretty much, a person sets up an account (the front page says it only takes 45 seconds) and you wait for people to ask you a question ANONYMOUSLY. You then give a reply. This is possibly the worst idea I have heard of. A lot of my Facebook friends, are participating in this rubbish and as a lot of people might agree, the term friend on Facebook is a loose one oftentimes. You know what this Qoohme is? It is an internet troll feeding ground.
A few mates have just taken it up. They often get people asking about their love lives (one will know when he sees this that I am talking up his love life.) and messages saying how deeply, passionately in love this random is with the profile holder. I can’t decide whether to call the latter ‘Cathartic- nameless-I’m-sorry-but-I-was-born-with-no-brain-but-I-still-hope-we-can-see-a-movie-one-day-opps-you-don’t-know-who-this-is-oh-well’ or ‘bullying/trolling-haha-what-a-sucker’. Of course, I am not knocking these people who choose to do this as it is there choice of what they do. It is just another thing people do that confuse me. Would you like to receive expert opinion of who you are from that girl you kind of spoke to in last week’s science class or just trust that you can handle it all by yourself or with some real friends.
Why subject yourself to judgement and ridicule from friends or unknowns? Is there some deep, elusive meaning to this I as a sane person do not comprehend? Because to be honest at the moment I don’t understand…
By Brenton AKA bigblue45
